Born in India in 1920; she was forced into child-marriage at the age of 3. As a child, she had been the eldest in her family, with 4 other siblings, so was forced to work to help generate an income rather than recieve an eduction. In a time and place where divorce was unheard of, she fought to break away from the system, and she was eventually permitted a divorce. She said she would rather live a single woman all her life than remain bound to the union. Bear in mind, women werent expected to work, and the concept of living independantly was not an easy option by any means. She's always beens so strong, so determined. Always.
She married again, to my grandfather, who had been in a similar situation regarding a child marriage. She had three sons, my dad being the youngest. My grandfather passed away seven years later, when my dad was 18 months old, and she was left entirely alone to bring up her children.
Uneducated, she had to work in factories, often going hungry herself just so her children could eat.
She dedicated her life to her family. She sacrificed so much so she could give her children the life she never had.
The woman I knew loved soap operas. Couldn't speak a word of english, yet it didnt seem to matter. She'd watch them every day, religiously. Make up her own storylines. She decided certain people were related because they had the same nose.
It amused us, anyway.
I tried to teach her the alphabet once, when I myself was learning to read and write. I wrote out all the letters on a piece of paper. I think she thought it was a joke.
She was always very cynical, untrusting.
People ask if we were close. I don't know what to say. She was a live-in member of the family for so many years. But she did her own thing, as did we. Her religious rituals and prayers and television kept her out of trouble.
When people are right in front of you, its easy to forget theyre there.
She used to make my dad and my uncles pray every morning before school. What do five year olds have to pray about? My dad had the same prayer every day:
"Please God, don't take my mother away."
In a hospital bed, she told him it was time to let go. "Don't try for me too hard" she said. She was ready.
"I release you from my prayer" A few days later, she was gone.
I guess I'm too cynical to believe in anything spiritual. But there's something about it that makes me reconsider.
Like there's something out there looking after us. Like angels. We always land on our feet.
