did daddy not love you? or did he love you just too much... did daddy not love you? or did he love you just too much...

Wednesday, Mar. 20, 2002
i'm soooooo bored. Sitting here in a muchly fun business studies lesson. Avec the fish of jen. Faye is sitting faaaaaarr away...*wonders why* Maybe she doesnt love us. *sobs* Arent I a damn cool fairy? A strange one, but a damn cool one. Jennyfish only got 2 right on my second quiz *laughs manically* HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA -ooh..shes giving me evils now *is scared* I've gotta do lotsa coursework b4 friday :( Unfortunately, my mind has been elsewhere for a while now, and i dont see it being where it should be anytime soon, if that makes sense. I cant help it! Everyones having such a shitty time at the moment (but not everyone realises) but they are dammit! ARGH! I hate it! It scares me and i worry and i cant talk about it cos i'm the only one who knows! *freaks out* Jennyfish is commenting on everything I type. *mutters* I'm scared. Really scared. I know it sounds silly, but it wouldnt if u knew..so just accept its scary.

I SIT HERE LOCKED INSIDE MY HEAD

REMEMBERING EVERYTHING YOU SAID

THE SILENCE GETS US NOWHERE -GETS US NOWHERE WAY TOO FAST.

Our business studies teacher has no faith in us. Shes going to have fun "watching us sweat" during the exam. So nice to have that reassurance. I have home ec next. Making fairy cakes. Will need someone to help me..*thinks* Havnt actually done any of my own H.E practicals in a very long time, usually help ppl make stuff outta packets. And yes, jennyfish can have a cake. If she is lucky. And is nice. And is immune to sarika-cooking.

A BOY -JUST THIRTEEN ON THE CORNER FOR SALE -SWALLOWSJ HIS PRIDE FOR ANOTHER HIT. OVERPOPULATION -THERES NO ROOM IN JAIL -AND MOST OF YOU DONT GIVE A SHIT THAT YOUR DAUGHTERS ARE PORNO STARS AND YOUR SONS SELL DEATH TO KIDS. SO LOST IN YOUR LITTLE WORLDS -YOUR LITTLE WORLDS YOU'LL NEVER FIX.

SO how is laura? And yes I am directing this to the only one who reads this. Don't worry -i wont get fucked up in the way u suggested cos that is not for me. We are all fucked up in our own little ways. But for me, not in that way. Methinks its stupid and wont solve anything...althought it may seem like it does..for a while, but it doesnt. Chocolate is the way forward. Or not thinking. Unfortunately have been thinking too much recently. *thinks about patio gardening* I wonder what you could grow...

Meine Mutter thinks I am suffering from an eating disorder. I find that amusing. She told me dad her theory and he talked to me about it. She tried to force feed me coco pops and i pushed her away...so shee was all "if you dont eat, you'll die!" *checks her pulse* I'm pretty sure i'm not dead yet, so methinks i'm eating. And no, i wont get fucked up in that way either.

Lets hope they dont make chocolate illegal :)

(jens comment)

that will be all for now.

fairy... | me...in a few words


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