"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." -- Henri Nouwen.
It's worth remembering. And it's so damn true.
Today was very busy..went to Wembley to visit my gramdma (and a retarded old woman kept shouting randomly and staring at me), went to Watford and bought a flatscreen moniter (tis very pretty) and went bowling avec meine kleine Schwester and 2 of her friends and my parents. (A belated birthday celebration) Naturally, i won, despite the fact I lack all skill and technique, or power..and then went to Pizza Hut with them. Was very exciting.
I'm kinda worried about school. I haven't been doing very well, and I'm finding I dont understand any history, or Shakespeare's Henry V, and i cant actually do anything. I can't seem to learn independantly and need to be spoonfed everything, and my last english essay consisted of a regurgitation of what we discussed in class. I dont have any of my own opinions or thoughts. Fuck.
Friday met Jenny and Tom for coffee. Told Tom about the weird dream I had where he was about to marry bryony, and didnt invite me to his wedding. Came out with something random like "Marriage is like a puppy, it's not just for Christmas, it's for life!" It sounded so normal in my dream..even though i specifically remember it being sunny and warm, so i dont know where the Christmas came from. Maybe it's my subconscious telling me to start xmas shopping early or..Tom wont invite me to his wedding? hmm...maybe not.
Meeting up with them made me notice how little I see of them. I go to school with jen, i should see her a lot. It's weird. I read the 15th birthday card i gave her (the huge one) and it made me realise how quickly time passes..Relating to the above quote, friends are precious, especially the ones you've had for a while..
I don't like it. Haven't been overly cheerful lately.
I have to work tomorrow. Let the rug-loathing begin.
Porsches, masculinity, stupidity, and potatoes... | \"He was a punk, she did ballet..\"
