I warn you this may be the longest entry that I recall to have written. Sorry.
Questions from Gumphood
My assumption is that mr Gump has only read one entry of my diary, as all his questions seem to revolve around it!
1) Why Diaryland? What the hell brought you here, and what are the things that let you stick with it? What will make you stop?
A nice opener. My friend Vicki got an online diary, and she was so excited by it she gave everyone the address. I think she updated about 5 times before giving up. I guess at the time I liked the idea of having my own space to vent and mess around with and make my own. Initially, it wasn't "a diary" as such, i started writing about my friends, and each would nominate the next person I'd write about. This process meant I was kinda forced to keep carrying on....until I started writing more and more for myself. Someone once saw it and said "oh you write. As in, for pleasure." At the time I had never really looked at it like that. That came later. Why am I still here? Because this is my way of keeping tabs on myself, as I have mentioned before. I compare myself with what I used to be, i find it fascinating and it's important as a way of understanding who I am. How I've changed. Why I've changed...Why not to make the same mistakes again...also, looking back through older entries, I remember the way I used to feel at any given moment, thing�s I would never have recalled without the diary.
2) Life flows. Given that you die tomorrow, what would you say was the single most devastating moment of your life was? Give us a blow by blow recount of the event. How long did it last?
I think I�ve been lucky. It�s hard to pinpoint one moment but there is one that sticks in my head, which encompassed the way I felt towards the whole problem. As most of my readers are aware, my mum has a heart condition for which there is no cure. The arteries keep blocking up due to a rare form of arthritis...
It was January 2002, and I came home from school. My mum wasn�t home, but there was a note on the table. An ambulance had rushed her to hospital. She needed to be operated on as soon as possible if she was going to survive. She had suffered a minor heart attack, and was being taken to London in a couple of hours. I felt numb. My dad came home and took us to see her before she left. I remember the way she looked. She was wearing a hairclip I had given her for her birthday once. She had a brave smile and she looked so beautiful. We sat with her, and I remember how the lighting was strangely warm. It was the moment that we said goodbye. We started to leave, and her heart monitor started beeping more and more rapidly. Her eyes were filled with tears, and fear. Thing�s I�d never seen before. That was the first time I had let myself cry in front of her, about this. I couldn�t hold back. I hated every moment. I was so scared.
The whole of the next day was a strange daze. I went to school, couldn�t concentrate at all, I�d break down in the middle of a history lesson when I was asked why I hadn�t done the homework. Vicki had to keep squeezing my hand through physics and home ec, every time i started to slip.
The worst feeling I have known, is coming home from school not knowing if your mother is alive.
She�s had numerous operations since then, but we knew this was the most dangerous. I came home, the house was empty, my dad and my elder sister were at the hospital. Immediately, the phone rang. My dad�s voice was edgy, saying there had been complications; they weren�t sure what was going to happen. �Don�t tell your sister that,� he added. I put the phone down and burst into tears. Immediately, the doorbell rang. I let Priyanka in, and stayed behind the door so she wouldn�t see the tears in my eyes.
3) You state the you don�t know what it feels like to be 22, or 37, which I found puzzling and confusing. The fact; I don�t know what it is like to be 22 or 37 is true, but yet I would suspect that you have some idea what that age bracket experiences. What do you think about the future? Is it something that scares you? Where do you see yourself at 22? And 37?
At 22 �I�ll (hopefully) be at university. At 37, I�d like to have settled down with some sort of career, and (hopefully) a family. I don�t know what I want; I don�t really want to plan out my entire life in advance. Some people are so focussed on where they want to be, and how to get their, (which I admire), but I know that could never be me. Four months ago, I had no idea what I wanted to spend four years of my life studying. I came out with my ideas completely out of the blue, but the spontaneity makes me feel my life is more...interesting. I wouldn�t say the future scares me, right now I can�t wait for it to happen. The present bores me.
4) List the ten things about the sex that you are attracted to that really gets you going. Ten things�GO!!!
I�m not sure on what level you want me to answer this�or if you mean physically or personality-wise. But here goes anyway:
1) Sense of humour. Wittiness comes hand in hand with having a brain, which is important, and means they get my attention. And means I enjoy their company.
2) Good talkers. Because I�m a good talker.
3) Guitars. I have a *thing* about them, although a scary number of guys I know can play them, which somewhat reduces their value in this field�
4)I like them tall�
5)�and dark�
6)�(lets not forget handsome) I�m sorry, for lack of originality.
7) I like men who argue with me. And then make a point of backing down to make me happy.
9) Honesty. A genuine person is rare and invaluable.
10) I�m sorry. This was hard for me as I don�t really have a *type* and there is nothing set in stone which I find attractive in people. E.g. on one person, a quality can be endearing/on another, irritating, if you know what I mean. Its more about the �x-factor.�
5) A person once said that �1000 years from now what the human society will miss in the freedom we have now. The picture of a Blonde woman driving down the California highway in her red convertible, hair whizzing in the air, while swallowing her birth control pill.� What does this mean to you?
My first point will be that I am stupid and don�t rrreeaally follow. My second point is I wouldn�t necessarily consider her free at the moment. A red convertible �high powered, probably highly stressful job. She is likely to feel trapped by her standard of living. Blond hair �trapped by societies norms as to what is considered beautiful, I highly doubt it is natural. The pill, so yeah, she has �the choice� to be sexually active and not have children, but I�d say she was still trapped. On the whole, she�s not in control she�s a victim of the pressures that surround her. I don�t think there has ever been real freedom, for anyone, in any era; I doubt that will change. In 1000 years time the insects will rule the world.
Bonus: Being afraid of Blow torches is completely reasonable; they are flaming bottles of gas!!! What the craziest fear a friend of yours has had?
Ems the m&m is afraid of squirrels. Bless her.
Join the Funness!
1 -- Leave a note/sign the book, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 -- You'll include this explanation.
5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.
