Sometimes I worry if in wanting the things I want, I make it difficult for others.
Emotions are always, always manipulative..even in the most honourable and innocent ways.
The ones with the sweetest intentions are always so dangerous.
Also a danger to themselves.
They all need to be the causeI don't know how honourable my intentions are anymore. I think i learn too much from those I get to know.
I learn self preservation as that's what works for everyone else. Treat people like they treat you, that's what makes the world go round.
I try not to hurt anyone. Doesn't everyone?
They all want to dream a cause.
In my moments of weakness at least now I realise why I do the things I do, why I want them, what makes certain weaknesses so appealing.
I know it isn't real, it's based on selfish emotions which I guess I should stay wary of. Control.
Hindsight is valuable. Always be self critical, it's like a chess game...
no more rash moves, no hasty decisions.
That's the problem with hindsight, you never know you were wrong, until it slaps you in the face.
But without being wrong I wouldn't know where I was, or what I wanted.
They all need to fuck the cause.
So maybe I'm not so nice anymore, in that dangerously nice way. Maybe it'll work for me, in the way I know others I have known once cast their spell.
And I still can't dare to question such honourable intentions.
I feel like I'm dissapearing, getting smaller every day | we have one chance to get everything right
