Bored with pretty much everything. Everything just seems so pointless.
There�s something cynical inside me that can�t even find happiness in a sunny day. Just the endless sinking feeling. Like I�m falling�forever.
Or drowning in my own mind.
There doesn�t seem to be anything to pull me to safety, I�ve just got to keep sinking.
I can just sit and stare into space, not feeling blank, but feeling everything that I�d rather not feel.
Like the feeling of abandonment, loneliness, and the intuition that there really is no one who gives a fuck. So what�s a girl to do about it? Keep sinking, that�s all I can see.
I�m starting to think that maybe my pheasants have given up on me as well.
I don�t really blame them.
Everyone needs something. Sometimes, it might just be a hug, or knowing there are people who care.
I know there are people who care. And those are the people I need right now.
There are people who say that they care, but are never there for me when I need them the most. There are people who show that they care, and the simple fact that they make an effort often means more to me than whether they are successful or not. If you know what I mean. The people who put their own thoughts and feeling aside; those are the people that are real friends. I�m so thankful to them right now.
Even on a day like this, when you�re crawling on the floor, reaching for the phone to ring anyone who knows you anymore, it�s alright to make mistakes, you�re only human. Inside, everybody�s hiding something.
Staring at the same four walls, have you tried to help yourself?
The rings around your eyes, they don�t hide that you need to get some rest
I�ve worked out what�s wrong with me. It�s pretty much everything right now.
